It has been almost ten years since that fateful day when I first tasted poison. I still find it hard to believe. When I drive past old memories, just staring into the past, or when I am laying down to sleep, I often find myself drifting back to the beginning again, and then to those last few moments of my pre-drugs existence, when I was still just an innocent girl.
Think about trying to find a secret vision; you’ve been running on hope, disregarding reality; feelings you don’t understand consuming your mind. You have been searching for something you’re not quite sure exists, but then, out of no where; you find it. It becomes your everything, it comforts you. For what it’s worth, I know now that what I was aimlessly searching for does not have a fix. That is something I have to find within myself. I was young, and I was naïve. I thought the world would wait for me to catch up, for me to figure out what I wanted. I managed to block out all the negative emotions I was feeling not realizing you can’t effectively block negative emotions without blocking the positive ones too. I was a robot; emotionless is a drama fueled environment.
“The days passed, as they do, and life went on.”