Chasing Your First High

The day was over but the night had just begun. The stars were breathless, vivid, captivating. I could get lost in the silence that consumed my mind. I felt invincible. Nothing could take away from the world I had just discovered. I was young, I was free. I was letting go of all the hurt I kept hidden; a magic pill that could make feelings and secrets disappear. I was living fast, playing hard with not a care in the world. I suddenly didn’t need the attention I so desperately craved. I didn’t need anything or anyone. It was like being an actress in a movie. I could be whoever I wanted, whenever I wanted.

I loved and lost all at once; in a single moment. I held on tight not wanting to lose what I had found. I dove into a bottomless pit; or so I thought.

Eventually I hit the bottom, and oh did it hurt, it hurt bad. I was a child in an adult world. I wanted to keep living in the magical world I discovered but it no longer existed. Believe me I kept searching; day after day, night after night. It was no where to be found.

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