I will be honest; holding myself accountable still proves difficult sometimes. I’m still learning how to be responsible. Addiction is a pathway to destruction, and the last thing that it wants for us is freedom. Sometimes I feel like I am still walking blindly in things I don’t fully understand and it’s quite frightening. I still have the destructive thinking of an addict, I often have to stop and remind myself how far I’ve come, how much it took to get here, and how little it would take to get back. I can’t turn to instant gratification and impulse. I have to run towards my problems, however big or small, rather than running away from them. It becomes very easy to get caught up and overwhelmed with everything that comes along with getting sober. I’m going on 7 months of sobriety, it happens to be the longest I have been sober in the last 10 years. I’m only 23, and a lot of people look at me like I should be done school, I should have a career. Maybe, but I think things will fall into place as they’re meant to, when they’re meant to. It is ignorant to assume that because I was an addict that I have no goals or dreams. It’s an unfair generalization to anyone. And on the other end I have people saying to prove everyone wrong. Well to be honest, I’m kind of sick of what everyone wants to see from me, like I am supposed to progress overnight into someone they’ve always wanted me to be, just because I am sober. It’s hard to explain addiction to those who don’t understand, even harder to those who don’t want to understand. I almost feel guilty saying that I feel afraid, anxious, depressed, and alone. It almost feels undeserving because a lot of the people surrounding me simply don’t want to hear about it. Writing these posts help me more than I would’ve have thought, and the feedback is always appreciated. So again, thank you all who take the time out of their day to read what I write.