I feel like I’m still walking blindly into a world I don’t yet understand but I came across something amazing today. Freud once said “In order to forget, you have to remember” simple but huge in so many ways. I have spent time and time saying to people that I can’t just forget my past, I can’t just move on if I don’t know what I’m moving on from. I can’t just say I used drugs to escape nothing when in reality I was mentally and emotionally running. I just wrote a post along these lines. And then I read this quote and it just rung like a bell in my head. Remembering is one of the first steps in the struggle to heal from the years of constant running. Overcoming intense fear and learning how to love and accept.
I talk about the past a lot, and like I’ve said before a lot of people don’t agree with me on this one. But I know what I need, everyone knows what they need deep down inside. The past has a way of coming to the surface at the strangest times; good times, as well as bad times. I know what I have to do if I want to put the past behind me, and I will continue to make that clear, I have begun what might be one of the most important journeys of my life.