It’s Something I Have To Do

People keep telling me I can’t move on if I continue to focus on my past. The past is over, and tomorrow is a new day. I’m aware of that; I’ve even said it myself quite a lot. Ellenor Roosevelt “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift.” I completely and utterly agree. Yesterday is history, but it’s my history and it is a part of me, a part of who I am today and a part of who I will be tomorrow. I can go on pretending everything didn’t happen but what good would that be? I started using for reasons; one of those reasons was to escape. What I was escaping from, I’m not entirely sure, that is the problem. I have to start to be honest with myself and deal with things I haven’t yet dealt with. Otherwise when a situation arises I will be right back where I started, and I simply cannot go through it again nor can my loved ones.

I know not everyone will agree with me on this one but I have thought about it a lot and I know this is something I have to do. Ironically I know this because of my past. I have patterns and I tend to run away from my problems. I checked out from reality at an exceptionally young age and in doing so I lost my ability to make proper decisions. I am still in the process of finding myself, and I have to access thing’s I have blocked out. Without those missing pieces the puzzle isn’t complete. Part of me moving on involves digging through my past.

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2 thoughts on “It’s Something I Have To Do

  1. This is exactly how I felt. As uncomfortable as it was I had to thoroughly dig through my past, and really deal with things head on for me to ever feel comfortable in sobriety. And there is still much for me to do. I hope all goes well for you and that you get closer to finding yourself.

    • Thank you. You don’t know how relieving it is to hear someone say that it makes sense. For a very long time I have been trying to explain to people that it is something I have to do. They think because it’s the past it doesn’t matter. But it does. A lot. All the best!

      Crystal

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