People keep telling me I can’t move on if I continue to focus on my past. The past is over, and tomorrow is a new day. I’m aware of that; I’ve even said it myself quite a lot. Ellenor Roosevelt “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift.” I completely and utterly agree. Yesterday is history, but it’s my history and it is a part of me, a part of who I am today and a part of who I will be tomorrow. I can go on pretending everything didn’t happen but what good would that be? I started using for reasons; one of those reasons was to escape. What I was escaping from, I’m not entirely sure, that is the problem. I have to start to be honest with myself and deal with things I haven’t yet dealt with. Otherwise when a situation arises I will be right back where I started, and I simply cannot go through it again nor can my loved ones.
I know not everyone will agree with me on this one but I have thought about it a lot and I know this is something I have to do. Ironically I know this because of my past. I have patterns and I tend to run away from my problems. I checked out from reality at an exceptionally young age and in doing so I lost my ability to make proper decisions. I am still in the process of finding myself, and I have to access thing’s I have blocked out. Without those missing pieces the puzzle isn’t complete. Part of me moving on involves digging through my past.